This week I took a leap.

I committed myself to 11 weeks of facing my money and financial fears.

I signed up for a Money Magic course with Carolyn Elliot of WITCH magazine.

Yes, magic. Yes, Witch.

These perhaps “taboo” titles I speak of may stir something up along the lines of broomsticks, potions, or Harry Potter. And sure, all of the above attachments have their place.

As a side note, I want to let you know that I believe in Witches. I believe I am one, in a way. I have actually been telling myself I’m a witch since I was a little girl! It’s funny how full-circle things can come.

Witches in modern day aren’t all about curses and spells (which is another word for intention/prayer/blessing in my opinion) but they are in FACT a human being who has simply created a sacred connection to the moon and planets, the earth and it’s offerings, and the energy that surrounds us all, which I refer to as prana, which is a yogic term. They utilize the elements to create a more beautiful, in-tune reality. Ultimately, that what we strive for isn’t it?

We all have a little “witch” in us if we allow. But alas, it is just another title or hat when it comes to labeling. Let it resonate as it will.

So I got her MONEY course. I won’t go into too much detail, since it’s A) not my product to display online and B)  It’s only week one.

This story is about how it came into my life.

To be honest. I HIGHLY dislike the subject of money. As mentioned in the 2 previous posts, I have been triggered many times lately and have let my emotions run my world, allowing my consciousness to be triggered and lost into fits of yelling and crying. I started my new job as a Dominoes delivery driver a month ago, and here is the thing about my actions: I think them through and go with my gut, yes. This is good because it’s led me to lots of beauty and transformation. HOWEVER, I don’t think about the MAGNITUDE of my decisions until they are presently in my face. I wasn’t scared and didn’t think much of India, until my stomach straight DROPPED upon seeing the airport. I didn’t think about how un-glamorus the job of pizza delivery is until I saw myself in my (as of then, very un-attractive uniform. New rules allow for cute jeans now.) and I FREAKED and was really unhappy. For me, fashion and style still means a lot, because I really express myself in that area, as well as taking pride in the body I work damn hard for. (Side note, I used to dream of being a fashion designer, so hints of glam-Sophie exist.)

Anyways, so it goes. I can’t turn back now, and after a week into it I was SO AMAZED at the reward I was receiving for following my gut. Tip days of $100 plus started rolling in, and I felt on top of the world. I went to the bank, and took IMMENSE pride in finally getting my account over a certain dollar amount. I did it! I was freeing myself and finding peace!

Until. Fear crept in.

I started to fear I would somehow spend and lose it all, as I am a former shopaholic. So what did Sophie do? Panic. I panicked about something I feared would repeat itself, and ultimately, the fear manifested my reality.

The money was gone.

I feared losing it SO MUCH that I blinded my own reality and spent it all mindlessly.  It wasn’t until Nolan realized what had happened and questioned me, that I realized what I had done. Again.

Something needs to change. I not only needed to crunch and see my numbers, but also needed to streamline my lists. I seriously have a list on my phone, one in my car, one on my to-do wall, one in my bullet journal and one on our calendar. This is NOT HOW YOU ORGANIZE your life. Organization is having the entirety of something in once place, and since it was everywhere I couldn’t keep track well and felt extremely anxious, fearful and overwhelmed with our path to financial freedom. (READ THIS BOOK for a MAJOR LIFE CHANGE)

All of a sudden, this course appears in my inbox. She has put out courses before, and they all seem incredible and intriguing. However, when MONEY appeared, I felt like this was for me.

The cost was $1000. That was everything I just mistakenly spent.

Now, payment plans are an option and for this I am grateful.

In the week or so that the course was open for enrollment, I began seeing lots of images of honey bees everywhere. I didn’t think much of it until the final day to signup for the course arrived, and Carolyn and her course partner Dave gave a free meditation to call in the spirit of Money and ask her if this was meant to be, and what she wanted from us. I had the down payment, but the day prior closed my main bank account because f*ck overdraft fees when you have overdraft PROTECTION. (Deep breath. Not angry. Ha.) I still had another account and didn’t realize I can’t just deposit into a bank-less bank anywhere, so I had cash but no money on my card, which is the only way to pay.

So I meditated. I asked the spirit of Money the proper questions. ALL I could think about was bees and honey. For 10 minutes, images of golds, yellows, oranges and some reds came to mind. Another interesting fact is the entire time I mediated, my throat started closing up. I’m 100% serious when I say it became hard to breathe and swallow! I asked Money if this course was meant for me and got more bees. I asked her what I needed to do to afford it and got more bees. My throat continued to form a huge ass lump. I just did my best to allow the experience to be what is was going to be. You can’t force shit.

Afterwards, I thought throat = honey. I went and ate a spoon of honey and again, just allowed it do it’s own medicine magic.

Nolan and I proceeded to take a drive to play Pokemon Go, and suddenly, it dawned on me why my throat was closing up. This is all typical throat Chakra shit too, hahaha I have to laugh because this Chakra gives me the most issues. I realized I was keeping this idea of signing up for a $1000 course about “Money Magic” a total secret from Nolan, purposefully. I mean, I get it. Magic is taboo, alongside witches so I wasn’t confident enough in my cause to think it was worth the investment.

The honey and bees told me to just be honest. After all, the last time I was dishonest was because I spent money mindlessly without consulting my goals or my home base and grounding person (Nolan).

Magic happened y’all. He heard me, and didn’t need me to explain myself because he saw the honesty and truth in my struggles. He supports me and my education about finances, so he willingly helped me out, and I signed up for the course with 6 hours to spare.

All I had to do was follow the bees.

This week alone, I had a friend recommend a special CBD honey to me, I saw 3 images of bees along my delivery route, and I listened to a random podcast with a generic name that happened to be all about: beekeeping. WTF.

Here are my insights: Bees work hard for their gold, and they keep and preserve this honey, which never expires by the way, to hold them over through the roughest winters. AKA, set for life. They gather, work hard, keep their hives PRISTINE, create lots of different medicines, and straight up spread the wealth by contributing to 1/3 of the WORLDS crops. They are all female (#girlpower) with a few males that help out just when it comes to helping Queen lay eggs, then the females throw them out of the hive to die.

Intense? yes. Do I find this incredible? Also yes.

No wonder bees keep coming to me! I resonate with this spirit guide so so much.  My roommate is contemplating getting a beehive this year, and I cannot wait. This year is a huge catapult in my financial realm. This MONEY course is already presenting so much abundance and mindset awareness to me, instilling transformational change. I thank the money spirit for this path.

I am very excited. I feel liberation already. Layers and layers of all my crap keeps shedding and everything makes sense. (Eventually.)

I’ve got gold on my mind, in the most positive and powerful way possible. I can’t wait to spread the wealth on this journey as I find freedom.

Love to you all!

YogiSophie