Courage.

Im always coming back to courage, my word of 2019, as it will take a lot of it to achieve my goals and dreams in this lifetime. They ain’t small.

Tuesday brought upon an extreme breakthrough, after days of tension headaches, weeks of work, months of stress and shoulder pain. It’s time for me to make a big change, the one in my mind about who I am.

Everyone I look up to in the entrepreneur space, all the endless podcasts and newsletters and blogs I absorb in order to be the best in my business speaks of authenticity. Bring your best self so you can be there for the world, and I GET THAT. ALSO, they put lots of hard work into creating content, keeping in touch, posting on all platforms, educating yourself, and taking care of yourself. They all promise dreams of changing peoples lives, living financially free, attaining success and the lifestyles they dream of.

I want this, I really do.

I also want to feel like I can work on myself in my own time, find time for yoga and study, and feel like I AM my best self on any given day.

You may have noticed my uproar in posting and sharing my day-to-day life, working on my presence and my business in order to spread the words I’ve got within me. Everything I share is real, unfiltered to the best of my conscious ability. But all of these top business tips, marketing techniques, content creation, pushing pushing pushing myself to reach more people DOESN’T FEEL AUTHENTIC TO ME.

I thought it did, I thought I was doing all the “right” things to gain momentum. And it works! I’ve seen it working in my business. What I’ve been doing is tried and true and it’s the smart businesswoman thing to do.

But,

I’m tired.

I’m exhausted.

I’m in pain, both mentally and physically.

On top of it all, I only feel the need to do it because I’m in a rush to get there and be finished, do it all, see it all, learn it all, have it all said and done. And, from the shadow side of myself, I also do SO MUCH just to prove that I can, just to impress people because I care too much about what everyone thinks and want people to like me.

This isn’t sustainable for me anymore, or for anyone!

There will always be room to grow, tasks to finish, people to help and money to make, but there will never be my 20’s again. I can’t guarantee that once everything is “in place” life will be perfect and smooth and easy. My mind tries to convince me it will be, but the days of trying to meet these standards born of fear and insecurity are numbered.

This year (or as long as this journey needs to take) is officially dedicated to self-care, transformation, learning and trusting.

Trust, trust, trust.

It’s scary to stop all that I know and do, to change my narrative, to commit to simplicity and spirituality wholeheartedly.

But every time a roadblock of fear popped up in my mind, I came back to LOVE. And what I’m feeling these days just ain’t it.

I will be in touch once per week to share what’s going on, what I’m learning and where I’m teaching. I will continue to teach privates, educate myself, send a newsletter, attend trainings and share my teachings on my own time.

Here’s to more reading, more yoga, more restful nights sleep. Hiking, exploring, and beer-enjoying. More friends, dinner parties, quiet days filled with books and knitting.

Here’s to growing gardens, bearing the fruits of mother earth and my mind.

Ready for harvest….in my own time.

Peace my lovelies,

YogiSophie