The Dream

Dear Journal,

I just spent the last month in what seems now to be a dream. I ventured on my first overseas adventure, a 24-hour 2-layover trip to Goa, India. My time was spent learning from the wonderful team of Abhinam Yoga Center, right on the coast of Morjim Beach, delving into the principles of Ashtanga yoga and yoga’s philosophy.

What. An. Experience.

I began my trip with no expectations, no goals in mind aside from leaving with a 300 hour teaching certificate. I learned things nearly beyond comprehension, and even things that ARE beyond comprehension. I learned every big muscle used in asana, I learned there is more than just the 8 limb path. I discovered limits in my body, as well as freedoms. Mental blocks I didn’t know were there showed their faces, and I discovered sources of anxiety that have long overstayed their welcome.  

I learned how to thrive in structure, and how to aim my focus on one goal at a time. I was able to sit in meditation of many kinds for extended time, to truly feel each experience, and then learned to drop it, move on.

I felt deep moments of relief, inner peace, and mental strength. I accepted the fact that those feelings don’t stick around all the time.

I cried in front of people. *Shocked face* Convinced myself that it was okay. (Mainly because I couldn’t stop it, so what else is one to do?)

When it came down to my last few days, I continued my observation of others and myself. I felt ready to return, armed with every tool I was able to grasp, with the clarity of a crystal clear quartz. I observed a deep feeling of comfort, knowing my inner power, trusting I will one day return, one day see these people and this place again. I wasn’t sad. Even though I learned many cultural differences, and how messed up ours seems to be, I know I can handle it. I know my purpose is to spread the light. Be the light. Share the message that we already know deeeeeeep down inside. We are all one. We ARE divine beings, placed here to fulfill different teachings until one day, we can delve through the fog of the mind and reconnect with all that is consciousness.

I’ve been back a week. I have much more to share, much more to discover and write about. But for now I close this chapter, reflecting back on it as if it was all a dream. A month has flown by, and the next lesson is learning to detach from what desires are to rear their ugly heads again, as if I never left in the first place.

We must continue to breathe, to return to my inner self.

Hari Om, Tat Sat